That's Quite a Load You Have There

When you’re preparing to have kids (which by the way is absolutely impossible) one of the things that you start to realize is how much you don’t know. This knowledge breaks down into three categories: the things you know you don’t know (how to change a diaper), the things that you know, but don’t fully understand (the cumulative impact of perpetual sleep deprivation over 18 years), and what I like to call the “are you kidding me” (or the “what the &+@#&*%*&^%*” ) issues. This last category is made of things that never came near the threshold of contemplation until you realize that they’ve become your life. This musing deals with an issue that falls into the last of these categories.

Laundry may seem like an innocuous task. Everybody wears clothes and all of it needs to be washing. It should be added to the “death and taxes” quote. And it could even stand to reason that a young child who plays outside, draws with magic markers and does not yet know how to accurately convey food from her plate to her mouth might require more than the typical number of outfits washed.

But it’s not the number of outfits that needs washing. It’s the volume. I know it sounds like a subtle distinction, but when it comes too little girl clothes there is a significant difference.

From even a short distance away a laundry basket of adult or kid clothing looks remarkably similar. A closer look will reveal some differences. An average basket of adult clothes might contain 4-5 pairs of pants, a few t-shirts, 1-2 dress shirts and a few “personal” items. But your average basket of little girl clothing contains 375 pairs of pants, 298 shirts, 431 pairs of underpants and 16 blankies. Keep in mind both baskets take up exactly the same amount of space!

The washing and drying processes aren’t really an issue. The washer and dryer don’t care how many princess underpants there are – just that they fit into the machine. The real issue is folding them…there is absolutely no efficiency gains in the folding of kids clothing vs. adult clothing. It takes exactly the same amount of time to fold little, itty, bitty Tinkerbell underpants as it does to fold boxer shorts.

So I go in to the laundry room to fold the last basket of clothing and then I realize – it’s the colored load…

(Another thing you don’t realize until you have kids – their clothes have color and ours do not. If you think I’m kidding take a look at the next three pre-schoolers you see. I will guarantee that you all three will be wearing colors that you wouldn’t even consider wearing.)

…so what would normally be a 10 minute chore all of a sudden take 2 hours.

So if you’re wondering why it’s been so long since I posted the last blog, it’s been because I was folding little girl underpants.